You look at your life in dismay:

How are you supposed to know health and vitality with THIS body?… this body that is so quick to fatten and so slow to muscle… this pale, short, flabby monstrosity that fills the bathroom mirror each morning?

And how are you supposed to know abiding love and passion with THIS marriage?… this wife that is so quick to scorn and so slow to affection… this grim, utilitarian, logistics-filled marriage that is so far from what you both imagined on your wedding day?

And how you are you supposed to know success and freedom with THIS mind?… this mind that is so quick to overwhelm and so slow to brilliance… this tired, foggy mind that everyone is depending on?

If only you had THAT body, over there in the squat rack, or that one, in the fitness magazine, or that one, or THAT one…

THEN your presence would be commanding. THEN you would have the confidence you crave. THEN you’d have the stamina you need to finally rise.

And if only you have THAT marriage, had THAT wife, or that one over there, or THAT one…

THEN your loins would be on fire again. THEN you’d be inspired, and loved, and BELIEVED in again, and thus made unstoppable.

And if only you had THAT mind, that head for numbers, or strategy, or bold speaking…

THEN you’d think your way out of this soul sucking debt you’re in. THEN you’d finally get this business off the ground. THEN you’d think your way out of this pit you’re in.

And on and on it goes… the dog chasing it’s own tail.

Always half-hearted, one foot in, one foot out… never fully accepting your givens, and therefore never bringing your full powers of creation to them.

Instead of building the future you want with the life you DO have, you build limp parallel realities in your mind… spilling your seeds on the floor… wasting your heart on vague notions of what might have been rather than building on and with what IS.

Know this: the quality of your life is not some static, pre-packaged given. You determine and create that quality through the love, imagination, and work you invest into them.

So stop wasting time and heart doubting your givens.

You DON’T HAVE some infinite number of possible bodies, minds, marriages, or lives:

You’ve got fucking ONE.

So OWN your one body.

OWN your one marriage.

OWN your one mind.


Stop shirking your one REAL life for a thousand imagined ones.

But Bryan, you don’t understand: I have an auto-immune disease… my wife is 300 pounds… I suffer from depression… I have micro-penis… I have a speech impediment… my wife’s an alcoholic… I have a syndrome…

Doesn’t matter. It’s all part of your glorious given… the gift of your ONE REAL life with which you carve out your ONE REAL future.

So fuck the idle fantasies.

No matter how raw and rough your marble… no matter how crude the block…

Quit your bitching and pick up the chisel.

Your life is waiting.

Bryan Ward is the founder of Third Way Man and author of the LIT Black Paper


  1. Dude, you have an amazing gift.

    You write like a muther fucker, just like cherly strayed suggested we do.

    Thank you

  2. Fuckin right mate. Love your thinking.

  3. Unbelievable how timely the discovery of your site is. I’ve just sat here reading some of these posts and am lost at just how much they speak to me. It’s almost as if the “me inside” is bashing me in the head and screaming let me out.
    Love your style…it resonates.
    Keep up the great work. I’m fully tuned in.

  4. Thanks for the words. Very honest and inspiring. Keep up the good work.

  5. Wow, incredible stuff. Turkey inspiriting and inspiring.

    You’re an incredible writer.

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