Photo by shanegorski
Here’s the old formula for success:
The one they’ve drilled into your head since you were a boy:
The one that has millions of men scraping themselves out a little more each day, gasping for that pot of gold at the end of the rainbow:
work hard -> make money -> get happy
This formula… it bolts so well onto the masculine: feeds our need for epic delay, for long-suffering.
Problem is, the formula is broken.
Most likely in all worlds and all times… but especially in ours.
We live in a super-connected age.
World-class EVERYTHING is never more than a few clicks away.
And so now we all crave products and experiences that can only be borne of inspiration.
Hence the catch-22:
The old formula tells us the inspired life is the reward for good work: the new world tells us it is the essential prerequisite.
For how can you enchant when you yourself are disenchanted?
How can you awaken others if you yourself are asleep?
How can you paint in living color when your eyes see only monochrome?
And so the new formula:
get happy -> work inspired -> (and yes,) make money
Build your Ground.
Revive all your old wonders.
MAKE THE EPIC SHIT.
Only then will the new world reward you.
Only then will joy jump the queue.
Thinking on this one. It’s gotten to the point I’m not sure I know what makes me happy.
Yeah, me too. Not much makes me happy anymore except watching the Walking Dead with my Sons. My job is so exhausting that if I can get an undisturbed hour or two in the lazyboy without being bothered too much I have succeeded. I know that’s shit, especially coming from someone who used to travel the world as an adventurer and missionary. I mean, wtf? I don’t even know what makes me happy anymore. Anything epic just sounds too exhausting to plan for anymore with 5 kids and a wife…and she’s pretty great.
However, I am trying to get lit…I’ve been a little reticent in starting my 30 day micro-commitments because i might have to give up some of my relazation/recharging time (which i feel that if I don’t get I might not make it through the next day). I know, sounds so lame. so lazy..but its true at this point…Clawing my way out of the mental dungeon i’ve been in for the last few years.
That mental dungeon is exactly what it is “a mental dungeon” the reality is it only exist in your own mind. Don’t climb out of it as much as break through it. Blow that thing up. I’ve read it only takes 2 seconds of insane courage to change the rest of your life. The same goes in your mind. It really onl starts with one thought. Reprogram the mind by deciding to bust out of that shithole. I’ve been there. It’s sucks. For years I sat in bed with a gun in my drawer weighing the odds. Do I pull the trigger and end the misery in my mind or do I bust through and fight for my wife and four kids. I can tell you right now they are worth it. Bust through brother! The pain of change can seem insurmountable and that is why it’s called change. Find your why and make it bigger than the pain of change. The inspired why will always overcome the pain of change!
I don’t have too much to add except that I can empathize with what you guys have written!
I thought I was the only one who could not figure out what made him happy anymore. I read recently an article where the well-meaning author was saying “find that thing that makes you come alive” that makes you “truly ecstatic”. And I thought, “Fuck, nothing does that anymore.” Of course, I don’t do anything other than try to bring in some money and get through the day, so how would I know?
Just for comparison, I’m 49, still married to first wife, have three kids, boy, 11, girl, 8 and boy, 5. Thank God for my 5 year old, come to think of it, he brings me joy every day.
But, I just don’t feel joy or happiness (or anything else for that matter) like I used to. It feels like it sort of bounces off some dead wood inside me. It just doesn’t penetrate or last.
Seems like men our age need some sort of community where we can pick each other up and help each other get through life. Most of my friendships have sort of petered out. Know of anything like that?
Best of luck guys!
Chuck
PS Testosterone levels may play a role. I got mine checked and they were really low (235). So, I did hormone replacement therapy and that helped some. Not a magic bullet but it gets you out of bed. Come to think of it, I’m a few weeks behind (Thanksgiving busyness)…maybe that is contributing to my mindset lately.